Every time I picked from her plate (which was every time she ate in my presence) my mother would tell the "story" of how when my birth mother was pregnant with me she always picked from her plate, too. So, I "got it honestly." I always loved that. It felt like my mother was saying she connected to me in the womb. So I would sit and smile to myself as I picked at her food.

My mother had a way of talking about me while talking to me. Telling me who I was, what she admired about me, parts of herself that she saw in me and making me feel acknowledged and loved. Those among other incidents are why food is so social for me.

Going beyond that, eating off of someone's plate is extremely intimate to me. I only do it with those I love/care for deeply. Or if I'm am trying to open up the possibility for a more intimate relationship with someone. Sharing a plate is one thing (and I do feel that is intimate, too), but silently reaching over to take something is, to me, a higher level of closeness. I'm realizing that most of my close relationships involve some level of imposition. I like to be imposed upon (in some ways) and love when others allow me to impose upon them.

Do y'all have any peccadilloes like that?

[...]
( I do declare! )

So yesterday, during a rather hellacious commute home (omgwtf 1/2/3 trains?), I bumped into Steph. I was already traveling home with a co-worker, Alexie. We're all standing waiting for the train when Alexie says "so, where do you two know each other?" I smiled wide, turned to look at Steph and said, "where do we know each other from?!" LOL Steph pauses before saying, "we knew each other for a long time... we have mutual friends." To which I replied, "yeah... yeah..." LOL I made it so unnecessarily extra. And it cracks me up because I'm sure my co-worker was thinking, "ok they must have fucked or something." Because that's what *I* would've been thinking.

This leads me to the question, how do you handle the question when people ask you where you met friends from online? Are you direct and honest? Do you use euphemisms? (Linda and I have been saying the "mutual friends" line for some time now) Do you outright lie? Dime. [yeah, some of these spanish phrases don't work without acentos. lol]

Toughie. But just for the record it's from his bestest album evaaar.

Eb: I often wonder
if the love will be tonight.
But what is love, girl,
if I'm always out of sight?

[I now realize I was a bit off. It's "if loving you will be tonight." Oops.]

Nonrepliers
Steph
Dani
Mikey
James
Linda
Portia
Justin


Thanks for playing
Mars: Ummm... Got To Be There?
Eb: No dice, sir
Mars: Just Googled it. I don't even KNOW that song!
Eb: Mentiroso!
Mars: !Te lo juro que no conozco esa cancisn! [Necesitas mas gente, Mars.]

Timmy: Ok. You finally got me. Had to look it up. The only words I know are working day and night.

MJ: I don't know. =-(

Icy Boo: Dang no idea but you and my dad have almost the same number. Creepy!
Icy Boo: I wanna guess and say liberian girl cuz if she's in africa he prolly doesn't see her much
Eb: Haha!! Nah she came and she changed his world. They saw each other all the time cause she left the country
Icy Boo: Damn. Was it the stranger from moscow? [let the record show that I do not know the lyrics to either of those songs. Except for the chorus to Liberian Girl.]

J It's... my dick!
Eb: Nice, Jon.


Winner!!
Tari: i don't know the next line, but I think it's working day and night?




Huh Haaah!


So I ran out of questions. But I really, really want to keep the MJ theme going. So I've decided to veer off from the standard form and change things up in a way that might make it easier and maybe even more fun.

Instead of questions the next MJ lyrics will be either the beginnings of songs, lead-ins to the chorus or any "nonsense" sounds he makes I'm gonna focus on the last type (as best as I can). All the other rules still apply. If you know the name of the song, great. If you know the proceeding lyrics, even better.

Next one is gonna be easy to make up for this tough one.

In the mood for an interview (meme). So if anyone has any questions, please damelos. I'm have turned IP logging off and comments are screened, so you can leave anonymous questions. And I'll create questions for anyone that wants to be interviewed.

LOL@ how many times I edited this entry.

Ok I am mad late. This one was suggested by Tari. (Thanks again!)

Eb: Who am I to be blind pretending not to see their need?

Those who didn't make that change - Nonrepliers
Steph
Dani
J

A for effort
Mars: Who are you to be texting me at work? And is that Earth Song?
Eb: Lol no
Mars: I looked it up after I replied to you. I need to study my MJ lyrics. [agreed]

Mikey: [a day later] this sucks. lol i kno NONE of this song besides the hook. eff it, im white-flaggin'.

James: MJ all day... [terrible]

Runners up
Timmy: Fuck the man in the mirror

Linda: Heffa I dunno the new rules you have sanctioned, but that's MJ Man in the Mirror [ok I was wrong, you did get it right. Still mad at "new rules" though lol]

MJ: Mj...man in the mirror

Winners
Portia: ...cold...disregarded...nowhere to go... I'm starting with the man in the mirror! (ooh) I'm asking him to change his ways

Justin: Another's disregard for someone's broken heart?



(Icy, I don't remember if I forgot to send it to you or if you didn't reply.)

I figure it's a decent way to start the new year: MJness, completing a task I have been procrastinating about doing, a song about change and service. Yep.

In honor of my facebook status yesterday...

Poll #1504706 Versus: NG
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 6

Pick your 'Nasty Girl'

That DC mess is some amazingly hypocritical shit.
ETA: And for some reason it's not embedding. Dah well. Prolly for the best. lol

At some point, I became a lightweight. I guess because I really only drink once every few months now anyway. Not that I was doing beer bongs before or anything. But now I can have 3-4 lightweight drinks and be nice. One strong drink and ya girl is done.

I have been loving lychee martinis and decided to make some at home. I added what I thought was a decent amount (not too much, not too little) of vodka and that shit almost made me gag. I had to really punk up that drink in order to even try to consume it.

Being a lightweight makes me a little sad. =(

So the first question is based on what this guy I grew up with posted as his facebook status (and the responses he got before me). The second question I feel has been asked before by other folks, but I've since forgotten everyone's responses. And they might have changed by now anyway.

Answers are not viewable (in case anyone would care)

Poll #1499775 Sex, Lies and potential videotape
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 16

Do you consider omitting information lying?

Would you ever have a threesome/orgy?

Linda: I just want everyone in attendance to know that I was not informed of the time of the chat
Linda: :-p
Eb: whatever heffa!
Tari: dont come in here using big words
Linda: I wasn't!
Linda: lol
Dani: attendance n shit
Tari: right?
Eb: LOL!
Linda: all you heffas in here have beyond a college education
Dani: my ass
Dani: and we all showed up on time
Dani: imagine that
Tari: i thought africans were on time
Tari: *runs*
Eb: LOL!
Linda: Tari, I dunno which Africans you've been hanging with lol
Dani: lol! i don't know why we love being so mean to you LOL
Eb: lol@ Linda

Let the record show that it was Tari that said it and not me!

So among the many obnoxious hastags created in Twitterland, the most recent one to make my ass itch is #songsyoudontwanttohearinjail. Har har har. Men get raped in prison. Har har. These songs makes me think of that. Har. I dunno if I'm more offended by the ignorance or the wackness. I mean, even if we don't care about prisoners and/or don't care about rape victims, can we at least agree that the prison rape joke is ridiculously played?? It's about as funny as "white people do this, black people do that" jokes.

It's all so "pause" and "no homo"-esque and makes me want to throw things at people. It reminds me that men's focus on rape tends to be in one or two areas:
1. Fear of a hypothetical other man raping them when/if they hypothetically go to prison/jail.
2. Fear of a hypothetical woman filing hypothetical false rape charges.

It's all mystical and phantom and based on them watching too much Oz and SVU. Meanwhile real people are dealing with real ramifications of real sexual assaults daily. And I'm sure few, if any, men see the irony in them being fixated on shit that likely will never happen to them while ignoring all of the real shit that *is* happening right in front of their noses. I swear you can set your watch to this madness. As soon as someone describes a woman's assault some man will come along derailing the conversation to indulge his fears in fantasyland.

"Here's a story of a woman that was raped."
"Well, what about prison rape! Men get raped, too!"

"Here's a story about a woman that was raped and killed."
"But what about the fact that I could potentially one day maybe possibly be accused of rape by someone?"

"There was a woman that was assaulted..."
"But what about me and my hypothetical assault!"

"The other day a woman..."
"MEN!!"

Unfortunately the Aishah Shahidah Simmons interview seems to have been taken down from Black Agenda Report. Luckily Ro copied and pasted the main part I wanted to copy and paste any way:

( Discussions and How Men Can Help (and not be idiots) )

So by now every one and their mama have commented on the movie Precious. I still felt a need to make an entry and touch on a few things that I haven't seen anyone else touch on (at least not in the blogosphere).

[cut for spoilers]

( Colorism, Accents and Violence )

Blatantly stolen from here

Poll #1483415 Post Coitus
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 16

Generally speaking, what do you like to do after sex?

So here's another question (not stolen). TV often depicts people that seem frustrated with partners that ask them for directions in the bedroom. So I'm wondering if this is a reflection of how people really view those kinds of questions or if it's just a reflection of the people that tend to become TV writers. So...does a (potential) partner asking you to describe what you want bother/frustrate you? Does it matter if it's before or during sex?

( My take )

I saw this and it made me wonder about how people generally eat chicken wings. I realized I do have a bit of a routine. I separate the bones and eat around them. If the skin is crispy, I'll eat that first. After watching the video though, I'm going to try his way the next time I have wings.

What about y'all?

Hello!

THES BITCHES AND HOES IS NOT 4 ME I NEED A WOMEN would like to be your friend on MySpace.

Full name: SPazz Loc

................Come on, son.

If it weren't for my nephew and maybe one or two other people, I would so quickly delete my myspace. My nephew is good for changing numbers all willy nilly and moving around so myspace is the best place to remain in contact with him.

WTF, man?

Poll #1479764 Versus: SW
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 12

Pick your 'Superwoman'

( Para escuchar )

*sigh* No words. Just enjoy the song...

Eb: Why? Why... does he do me that way?

Special Place in Loser Hell - Non Replying Version
James [the cheese stands alone]


Special Place in Loser Hell - Replying Version
Dani: Aww shoot! Ok unmmm. Michael Jackson.
Eb: Wow Dani. Really?
Dani: Geez!! He opens the song with that long falsetto
Eb: This is so sad. Lol
Dani: Michael's death was sad. This is just... Dismal

Mars: Some of these just ain't fair.
Eb: That's one interpretation. Another is that you suck!
Mars: You!

J: Because you deserve it [says the loser]

Linda: I've been thinking about the answer to the text game for days now. =-(


Runners up
MJ: Who is he?
Eb: Lol terrible
MJ: Oh this is the game huh? (...)
MJ: Oh. Human Nature. Michel Jackson. And no I didn't google it. [lol]

Mikey: human nature is an ancient secret known only to a blessed few. B-)
Eb: See, this message is too late for me to trust that it's not the result of a google search
Mikey: lol! the dj in me kept wantin to say it was either Nas or SWV.. even tho i knew it was Mike's song! all I could here was the intro to Halftime leadin'
Mikey: into "looove wiiill beee riiight here" over and over again.. lol


Winners!
Tarah, Esq: If they say why, why, tell them that its human nature

P Funk: If they say why? why? tell them that its human nature...

The Harlemite returned: Tell them it's human nature
Eb: Yeah I so don't trust that you didn't google this
The Harlemite returned: Lol! I know my old skool MJ!
Eb: So you say!

Justin: Human nature
Eb: Indeed
Justin: By "Michael Jack" as lil mama would say
Justin: Why? Why? Tell them that it's human nature...
Justin: Or tell them it's just human nature
Eb: Justin, you won. It's overkill at this point. lol
Justin: I can't tell dammit! The rules always seem to be changin' on me** [WTF?]

Timothy: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh aaaaaaaaah.....aaaaaaaaah ooh aaaaaah


**In light of Justin's complete meltdown I decided to describe the parameters for winning the text quiz.
The test quiz is primarily about lyrics and lyrical knowledge, but it's also about musical knowledge and creativity. So the breakdown is like this
1. Reply with the lyrics immediately following the question
2. Reply with the name of the artist and/or song [because the current series is all MJ, no points are giving for saying it's MJ. that's a lose]
2. Reply with other lyrics from any part of the song
Extra points are given when one creatively replies while either using lyrics, the name of the artist, the name of the song or some reference to the artist and/or song (which is why Timothy edged out a bit)

Not replying at all is "the worst kind of losing" so that's the lowest level.

Get it? Got it? Good.

So, in slight breach of the rules the answer is a question, too. But that's because the entire song is questions. And making the text quiz all MJ songs is much harder than I originally thought it would be. With the ones I've been finding they are either obscure or painfully easy. I thought everyone would get at least a runner up place for this one. The next will (likely) be even easier. Like there will be a special place in loser hell for the ones that don't get that one.

Eb: Do you remember how it all began? It just seemed like heaven so why did it end?

Non-replying losers!
Portialicious
Steph
Mikey
Linda
Tari

Sorry? =p
Mars: Had to Google it. I fail miserably, I admit it. You threw a curveball though!
Eb: Haha!
Mars: Leave me alone! (no pun intended)

Dani: I thought this was only hip hop. You threw me off! I demand new lyrics to miss lol

J: Are you breaking up with me? Again?

James: You tell me!!

Honorable Mention
MJ: Remember the time

Winners
Timmy: I don't think you're even trying [suck a fart]
Timmy: Do You Remember
Back In The Fall
We'd Be Together
All Day Long
Do You Remember
Us Holding Hands
In Each Other's Eyes
We'd Stare [also that looks a bit too uniform. you prolly googled it]

Justin: Lol, I don't remember
Justin:What part of the song that is
Justin:Can either be
Justin:Do you remember, us holding hands... Into each other's eyes we stare
Justin: Or
Justin: Do you remember, back in the spring. In the morning birds would sing
Justin: And the song is michael jackson, remember the time [First of all, thank goodness I have 1000 texts. Also he confused me so much with the zillions of little texts he sent that I didn't even realize at first that he did send the right answer. lol]

Poll #1474789 The tab
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19

Who should pay for the bill (generally speaking) when people are dating?

( My cut )

Shoutout to the ghastly looking heffa on the Q train today. Thank you for singling me out in a subway car (relatively) full of people and asking if *I* knew of any places that "have gospel" for the random tourists you were conversing with. It's so nice that you went of your way to get my attention causing me to turn down my music, remove my headphones and be subjected to your racist ass assumptions. When there were countless other non-Black perfect strangers that you could have bothered with that shit (who weren't trying to enjoy music AND a book)!! I also appreciated your look of surprise when I said I didn't know of any.

Fuck you very much, you Nightmare-Before-Christmas looking ass witch.


"Have you ever had something happen that was so racist that you didn't even get mad? You was just like 'Goddamn, that was rac- that was racist!" ~Dave Chappelle