Linda: I just want everyone in attendance to know that I was not informed of the time of the chat
Linda: :-p
Eb: whatever heffa!
Tari: dont come in here using big words
Linda: I wasn't!
Linda: lol
Dani: attendance n shit
Tari: right?
Eb: LOL!
Linda: all you heffas in here have beyond a college education
Dani: my ass
Dani: and we all showed up on time
Dani: imagine that
Tari: i thought africans were on time
Tari: *runs*
Eb: LOL!
Linda: Tari, I dunno which Africans you've been hanging with lol
Dani: lol! i don't know why we love being so mean to you LOL
Eb: lol@ Linda

Let the record show that it was Tari that said it and not me!

So among the many obnoxious hastags created in Twitterland, the most recent one to make my ass itch is #songsyoudontwanttohearinjail. Har har har. Men get raped in prison. Har har. These songs makes me think of that. Har. I dunno if I'm more offended by the ignorance or the wackness. I mean, even if we don't care about prisoners and/or don't care about rape victims, can we at least agree that the prison rape joke is ridiculously played?? It's about as funny as "white people do this, black people do that" jokes.

It's all so "pause" and "no homo"-esque and makes me want to throw things at people. It reminds me that men's focus on rape tends to be in one or two areas:
1. Fear of a hypothetical other man raping them when/if they hypothetically go to prison/jail.
2. Fear of a hypothetical woman filing hypothetical false rape charges.

It's all mystical and phantom and based on them watching too much Oz and SVU. Meanwhile real people are dealing with real ramifications of real sexual assaults daily. And I'm sure few, if any, men see the irony in them being fixated on shit that likely will never happen to them while ignoring all of the real shit that *is* happening right in front of their noses. I swear you can set your watch to this madness. As soon as someone describes a woman's assault some man will come along derailing the conversation to indulge his fears in fantasyland.

"Here's a story of a woman that was raped."
"Well, what about prison rape! Men get raped, too!"

"Here's a story about a woman that was raped and killed."
"But what about the fact that I could potentially one day maybe possibly be accused of rape by someone?"

"There was a woman that was assaulted..."
"But what about me and my hypothetical assault!"

"The other day a woman..."
"MEN!!"

Unfortunately the Aishah Shahidah Simmons interview seems to have been taken down from Black Agenda Report. Luckily Ro copied and pasted the main part I wanted to copy and paste any way:

( Discussions and How Men Can Help (and not be idiots) )

So by now every one and their mama have commented on the movie Precious. I still felt a need to make an entry and touch on a few things that I haven't seen anyone else touch on (at least not in the blogosphere).

[cut for spoilers]

( Colorism, Accents and Violence )

Blatantly stolen from here

Poll #1483415 Post Coitus
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 16

Generally speaking, what do you like to do after sex?

So here's another question (not stolen). TV often depicts people that seem frustrated with partners that ask them for directions in the bedroom. So I'm wondering if this is a reflection of how people really view those kinds of questions or if it's just a reflection of the people that tend to become TV writers. So...does a (potential) partner asking you to describe what you want bother/frustrate you? Does it matter if it's before or during sex?

( My take )

I saw this and it made me wonder about how people generally eat chicken wings. I realized I do have a bit of a routine. I separate the bones and eat around them. If the skin is crispy, I'll eat that first. After watching the video though, I'm going to try his way the next time I have wings.

What about y'all?

Hello!

THES BITCHES AND HOES IS NOT 4 ME I NEED A WOMEN would like to be your friend on MySpace.

Full name: SPazz Loc

................Come on, son.

If it weren't for my nephew and maybe one or two other people, I would so quickly delete my myspace. My nephew is good for changing numbers all willy nilly and moving around so myspace is the best place to remain in contact with him.

WTF, man?

Poll #1479764 Versus: SW
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 11

Pick your 'Superwoman'

( Para escuchar )

*sigh* No words. Just enjoy the song...

Eb: Why? Why... does he do me that way?

Special Place in Loser Hell - Non Replying Version
James [the cheese stands alone]


Special Place in Loser Hell - Replying Version
Dani: Aww shoot! Ok unmmm. Michael Jackson.
Eb: Wow Dani. Really?
Dani: Geez!! He opens the song with that long falsetto
Eb: This is so sad. Lol
Dani: Michael's death was sad. This is just... Dismal

Mars: Some of these just ain't fair.
Eb: That's one interpretation. Another is that you suck!
Mars: You!

J: Because you deserve it [says the loser]

Linda: I've been thinking about the answer to the text game for days now. =-(


Runners up
MJ: Who is he?
Eb: Lol terrible
MJ: Oh this is the game huh? (...)
MJ: Oh. Human Nature. Michel Jackson. And no I didn't google it. [lol]

Mikey: human nature is an ancient secret known only to a blessed few. B-)
Eb: See, this message is too late for me to trust that it's not the result of a google search
Mikey: lol! the dj in me kept wantin to say it was either Nas or SWV.. even tho i knew it was Mike's song! all I could here was the intro to Halftime leadin'
Mikey: into "looove wiiill beee riiight here" over and over again.. lol


Winners!
Tarah, Esq: If they say why, why, tell them that its human nature

P Funk: If they say why? why? tell them that its human nature...

The Harlemite returned: Tell them it's human nature
Eb: Yeah I so don't trust that you didn't google this
The Harlemite returned: Lol! I know my old skool MJ!
Eb: So you say!

Justin: Human nature
Eb: Indeed
Justin: By "Michael Jack" as lil mama would say
Justin: Why? Why? Tell them that it's human nature...
Justin: Or tell them it's just human nature
Eb: Justin, you won. It's overkill at this point. lol
Justin: I can't tell dammit! The rules always seem to be changin' on me** [WTF?]

Timothy: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh aaaaaaaaah.....aaaaaaaaah ooh aaaaaah


**In light of Justin's complete meltdown I decided to describe the parameters for winning the text quiz.
The test quiz is primarily about lyrics and lyrical knowledge, but it's also about musical knowledge and creativity. So the breakdown is like this
1. Reply with the lyrics immediately following the question
2. Reply with the name of the artist and/or song [because the current series is all MJ, no points are giving for saying it's MJ. that's a lose]
2. Reply with other lyrics from any part of the song
Extra points are given when one creatively replies while either using lyrics, the name of the artist, the name of the song or some reference to the artist and/or song (which is why Timothy edged out a bit)

Not replying at all is "the worst kind of losing" so that's the lowest level.

Get it? Got it? Good.

So, in slight breach of the rules the answer is a question, too. But that's because the entire song is questions. And making the text quiz all MJ songs is much harder than I originally thought it would be. With the ones I've been finding they are either obscure or painfully easy. I thought everyone would get at least a runner up place for this one. The next will (likely) be even easier. Like there will be a special place in loser hell for the ones that don't get that one.

Eb: Do you remember how it all began? It just seemed like heaven so why did it end?

Non-replying losers!
Portialicious
Steph
Mikey
Linda
Tari

Sorry? =p
Mars: Had to Google it. I fail miserably, I admit it. You threw a curveball though!
Eb: Haha!
Mars: Leave me alone! (no pun intended)

Dani: I thought this was only hip hop. You threw me off! I demand new lyrics to miss lol

J: Are you breaking up with me? Again?

James: You tell me!!

Honorable Mention
MJ: Remember the time

Winners
Timmy: I don't think you're even trying [suck a fart]
Timmy: Do You Remember
Back In The Fall
We'd Be Together
All Day Long
Do You Remember
Us Holding Hands
In Each Other's Eyes
We'd Stare [also that looks a bit too uniform. you prolly googled it]

Justin: Lol, I don't remember
Justin:What part of the song that is
Justin:Can either be
Justin:Do you remember, us holding hands... Into each other's eyes we stare
Justin: Or
Justin: Do you remember, back in the spring. In the morning birds would sing
Justin: And the song is michael jackson, remember the time [First of all, thank goodness I have 1000 texts. Also he confused me so much with the zillions of little texts he sent that I didn't even realize at first that he did send the right answer. lol]

Poll #1474789 The tab
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19

Who should pay for the bill (generally speaking) when people are dating?

( My cut )

Shoutout to the ghastly looking heffa on the Q train today. Thank you for singling me out in a subway car (relatively) full of people and asking if *I* knew of any places that "have gospel" for the random tourists you were conversing with. It's so nice that you went of your way to get my attention causing me to turn down my music, remove my headphones and be subjected to your racist ass assumptions. When there were countless other non-Black perfect strangers that you could have bothered with that shit (who weren't trying to enjoy music AND a book)!! I also appreciated your look of surprise when I said I didn't know of any.

Fuck you very much, you Nightmare-Before-Christmas looking ass witch.


"Have you ever had something happen that was so racist that you didn't even get mad? You was just like 'Goddamn, that was rac- that was racist!" ~Dave Chappelle

Happy Easter. Happy 4th of July.
I hope you're happy with your birthday bean pie!


Feliz cumpleaños, Roli!

[ETA: CREEPY! I promise you happy birthday was spelled correctly when I posted this!. WTF???]

In a desire to ameliorate negative feelings I sometimes resort to (almost ritualized) comfort-seeking behaviors. Forgetting that it is natural for negative feelings to dissipate on their own in time. I need to both allow myself to feel more and to remember my individual strength.

There’s nothing wrong with the passive voice. I find poetry in the passive voice.

When I’m having a hard time I take solace in knowing that I am definitely in the right field.

Poll #1467703 Versus: QS
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

Pick your 'Quiet Storm'

*sigh* That much closer to the 3-day weekend.

ETA: Oh and the Mobb Deep version is beyond NSFW.

Poll #1466782 Versus: IW
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 13

Pick your 'I Wish'

Notes:
1. The Vs. thing is not necessarily meant to present "tough" choices. Really just my randomness in noticing that some song titles get reused often. And recognizing how sharply contrast different songs with the same title can be.
2. R Kelly's version was purposefully omitted. Fuck that negro.

Poll #1464461 Versus: ALN
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14

Pick your 'All Night Long'

So today one of the students came around with a plate for me totally unprompted. I thought it was really sweet.
Then I had a great meeting with another student where I coached her through a tough time that she's having at her new job. She ended it saying "you a good counselor." Aaaawwww. I'ma miss them!

"If men were as concerned about rape as they are about women falsifying rape charges, rape would hardly ever occur."
~Jon


I have more I want to say on this, but that will come later. Just wanted to share that statement.

Almost at the inception of 16th birthday, I became obsessed with sex. Wanting to know who among my friends was having it. Wanting to know the details about their encounters. To a much lesser extent, wanting to have it myself. I wanted to have sex because I felt left out. It seemed like "everybody was doing it." And being inexperienced made me feel like an oddball freak. Also, curiousity was killing me. I'd heard so many horror stories about how the first time(s) was/were painful. I couldn't understand why girls were having sex if all they could talk about was how painful it was. So my teen years were plagued with this intense curiosity coupled with fear of sex. Above all else, I knew I wasn't ready.

This made dating exceptionally hard. Yes, I knew I wasn't ready, but I didn't want to seem like a weirdo for not doing it. Let alone the fears I had of "losing" a bf because I wouldn't have sex. This meant all my little pseudo-relationships in my teen years involved many strategic methods taken to avoid having actual sex.

I lied to Q and told her I'd "lost my virginity" to my first boyfriend, Risque. Risque might find that funny if he ever found out because I took painful efforts to avoid being alone with him in high school.

At some point in the summer I met this older guy (I think he was 19 or 20) in my neighborhood. He was constantly asking me to come over and I consistently had some sorry excuse to not go to his house at the last minute. He misinterpreted my anxiety about having sex as my cheating on him.

I mean, he really must've let the horniness get to him 'cause he just wylded the fuck out. He called me yelling about how I must be cheating because I wasn't giving him any. He became convinced that a dude was at my house at that moment and said "tell that nigga to bust a nut for me!" Mad.Ness! I guess he expected me to call back and explain myself to him and how I was not having sex with anyone else. lol Dude did me a favor! He gave me the out. So when I didn't call back, he called back declaring his love for me. To which I replied by telling him he didn't even know my last name. I'm sure we were only dating for a few weeks. So.. yeah...

Then I thought he was "crazy." Now I realize he just had really really bad game. The whole "accuse them of lying/cheating to make them defend themselves" ploy was missed on me entirely 'cause I just thought he was unstable. I thought he thought he did love me. Now I realize he just had a shitty bag of tricks. Random declarations of love and accusations of cheating aren't exactly aphrodisiacs for me. Strange times, I know.

Yesterday I was walking past the spot where he stood behind me with his arms around me declaring how he intended to get me pregnant (hmmm....then again, he really could've been "crazy") and all of those thoughts came flooding back. I wondered if he was now in his 30's still chasing after 16 year old girls, trynna game them into having sex using hysterical rants and drama. I wouldn't be too surprised.

It seems every cycle I have a Toxic Shock Syndrome scare. Not because I'm keeping them in too long, but because ever since I heard of TSS I have lived in fear of getting it. I also constantly live in fear that I will either forget that I have a tampon inside of myself or that I will get one "lost" up there and need surgery or a rescue squad or something to get it out.

None of this stops me from buying a Multipak of Pearls regularly though.

Weird.

Speaking of vaginas, eventually I'm going to post the last of my "experiment" trials.